Gene Weingarten is not amused, but in an amusing way:
I am honored that you have chosen me as the subject of your journalism school graduate thesis. At the behest of your instructor, you e-mailed me to ask how I’ve “built my personal brand over the years.” I’m answering with this column.
The best way to build a brand is to take a three-foot length of malleable iron and get one end red-hot. Then, apply it vigorously to the buttocks of the instructor who gave you this question. You want a nice, meaty sizzle.
Somebody enjoys their job:
A Des Moines homeowner found messages in spray paint, some of them profane, around his house when he returned Wednesday afternoon.
Raymond Kling, 32, found messages like “Got ya,” and “U Lose,” and “Ugly couch,” written on the walls and doors, furniture and cabinets. The burglar spray painted clothes.
Penny-wise, pound your head on a gas pump stupid:
Hoskinson has a prior conviction for robbery. On Oct. 9, 2007, Hoskinson stole $409 and beer from a Speedway. He was identified as the robber because he used his Speedy Rewards card at the gas pump before demanding money from the clerk.
The furtive but fervent Taxonomic Liberation Front strikes again:
HOQUIAM, Wash. (AP) – Police say a man was carrying a dead weasel when he burst into an apartment and assaulted a man in Washington state.
The victim asked, “Why are you carrying a weasel?” Police said the attacker answered, “It’s not a weasel, it’s a marten,” then punched him in the nose and fled.
[more] via Man carrying dead weasel accused of assault.