Kirby's not in today -- would you like to speak to SATAN?
wherein the PR folks at Wal-Mart finally snap under the strain:
Wal-Mart Says 'Happy Holidays' Covers Several Events... The dispute erupted after a Wal-Mart worker responded to a woman who complained that the company was replacing "Merry Christmas" with "Happy Holidays." The response described Christmas as a combination of world traditions from Siberian shamanism to Visigoth calendars.
The e-mail, which Wal-Mart spokesman Dan Fogleman said was genuine, said Wal-Mart had to act as a global organization in a world with many different practices.
"The colors associated with Christmas red and white are actually a representation of the aminita mascera (sic) mushroom. Santa is also borrowed from the Caucuses, mistletoe from the Celts, yule log from the Goths, the time from the Visigoth and the tree from the worship of Baal. It is a wide wide world," said the e-mail, from a customer service worker identified only as Kirby.
Fogleman said Thursday that Kirby no longer worked for the company.