and maybe we'll do in a squirrel or two...
Marksman Called In To Kill Kingstons Pigeons (from Surrey Comet)
Posted by: Roland Runtfarmer on 12:29am Thu 30 Nov 06
What a lot of fuss over nothing. Everyone knows pigeons can't be killed, they are immortal and immune to bullets. Where I come from we worship the pigeon deity and never look them in the eye as this can turn a man to stone. I can only warn the gunman chappy that if he should lift a finger against but one bird he will incur their never ending wrath and more than likely burn in **** for his actions.
I would not risk it myself, it's just not worth it. Leave it !!! Many have tried and even the mightiest have failed! The only way that may have some effect is to tie them down and chant incantations while you flay their hides with an stout oaken branch blessed by a high priest of Nayhead. Mr McNally, the orchestrater of this ill thought out plan I say unto you beware the consequences of your actions against the blessed ones.
Posted by: Fancy Coo-Coo on 12:57pm Thu 30 Nov 06
I'm horrified at the very idea anyone might want to harm these gentle creatures. I myself was raised by pigeons after being abandoned in Trafalgar Square as a young nipper. Therefore I know how noble and generous a species they really are. If anyone were to kill a pigeon in this way, it would be as though they are slaughtering one of my own family. It's murder, I say!
Posted by: Free Willy on 3:24pm Thu 30 Nov 06
I know what you mean, reader. I was raised by yaks but I'm sure the experience was similar. How about a council worker cull instead.
Posted by: Michael Hunt on 4:17pm Thu 30 Nov 06.
Pigeons can be very intelligent creatures. This is because they are actually bred from dolphins and can travel vast lengths underwater as well as through the air. I warn you now Council folk, if you so much as dare remove or cull any pigeon from Kingston or the surrounding local I shall withhold my council tax! I'm prepared to go to prison to save these beautiful specimens of birds so just forget it ok?
Posted by: Joseph Jacobs on 4:51pm Thu 30 Nov 06
What about dogs? Surely these vermin are more of a pest than lovely pigeons. Any dog seen fouling our beautiful Royal borough should be shot on sight. Great. Tiddly tum te de.
Posted by: Mr Snorter on 4:57pm Thu 30 Nov 06
Pigeons are kind and caring. Two come and visit me each day and tell me things. They told me not to discuss this with anyone so none of you say anything if they should ask you. OK?
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