why you should never do the dishes after dinner
Behind our kitchen sink is a small bay window, through which I like to admire our neighbor's tractor collection while I do the dishes. Although we do own a dishwasher, I prefer the hand method because:
a) If one is going to rinse things before putting them in the machine, one might as well just wash them, yes?
b) The dishwasher is on wheels and sits ten feet from the sink. It's heavy. It hurts my back to move it, and when I try to, the cats all jump aboard for a ride.
c) Occasionally I run over a cat.
d) Just kidding, although there have been close calls.
e) The warm water makes my hands feel better.
f) I always loved to play with bubbles. Since Bubbles moved away, I compensate by washing dishes. Thank you, I'll be here all week.
So last night I washed all the dishes and stacked them in the dish drainer next to the sink.
Big mistake.
Early this morning (early for me; youse guys had probably been at work for a hour), I was awakened by the sound of a taxicab plowing through a plate glass window. Since both taxicabs and plate glass windows are fairly rare around here, I was curious, so I arose and tiptoed downstairs to investigate.
Nearing the kitchen, I spied a cluster of cats crouching under the table, staring at the sink. Noting my approach, they scattered in nine different directions, clearly feeling guilty about something.
(Note: anyone who says that animals lack a moral sense is nuts. Those cats were radiating mens rea.)
Long story short, apparently what had happened was this: there is a set of cafe curtains on a spring rod above the sink (for those times when I just can't take any more tractors). Evidently, one of the cats (I have my suspects) was climbing said curtains, when the rod gave way and dumped the cat in the dish drainer. Cats being the graceful creatures that they are, the little chap thrashed around in panic, tipping the entire dish drainer four feet onto the floor.
Three dinner plates, one bowl and one cup broken, and broken glass and silverware all over the kitchen (which is roughly 18' by 15', so that's a lot of space).
After some preliminary sweeping, I decided to make a cup of coffee. While pouring water into the teapot, the top of the water pitcher came off, dumping two quarts of water onto the stovetop.
I give up.